Emotionally, I feel angry. All the time. At everything and everyone. Well, everyone except my mom. But I'm especially angry when I'm driving or if I'm talking to my best friend... or any man. It could be the hormones, but I think there's an underlying issue that has recently come to surface. Now that I'm having a child, I think about how I want to raise them. What kind of parent do I want to be? What do I want to teach my child? How do I want them to grow up? I think back to how I was raised and I don't want it to be like that. I want to teach my child that they can do or be anything they want. I want to influence them to change the world. Be kind and inspire others. I want them to have a free spirit to go where they want. I don't want my child to feel caged like I did. I want them to be open minded and loving.
--- I should not take breaks when writing. I end up totally forgetting about posts. ---
I recently had a spiritual healing session and I feel that it's changed me. Or it's changed how I feel about things and people and myself. I've become more aware of who I truly am. And now I want to work towards showing the real me instead of putting up a front like I normally do. I want to teach my child to be his/her self.
I've had many epiphanies lately and one of them is how I view men. Every single man in my life has pushed me. My dad, boyfriends, guys who liked me but I didn't like them. I've come to realize that I just don't like men. I don't like women much either, but I'm the type of person where I enjoy platonic relationships rather than romantic ones. Guys always want more than what you give. And I don't ever give because I never usually like anyone. But guys want to know what you want immediately. In this day and age, dating is fast paced. No one takes their time to really get to know a person before making a commitment. I'm not about that. Well, not now anyways...
These posts get more and more difficult as time goes on.
